I never knew what hate was. But once it came into my life. It took a long time to work through, but once it did, it broke through the walls. I finally had to experience it to know how infinite and wonderful forgiveness is.
I can’t even describe what I felt. What thoughts and feelings were triggered in me by the behaviour of those who besieged a love relationship I had (I remember perfectly, but I can’t and don’t want to live it, nor share it.)
For a very long time my bastions were protected by understanding, acceptance, piety, patience. But seeing the immeasurable destruction, the destructive fire was kindled within me.
I was on my way to the United States. With many nice people. I really poisoned the great adventure for them… Sorry again dear friends!
But travel really can do so much. The spiritual pilgrimage has happened. Like in the labyrinth. One day, a miracle moved into my soul. I definitely felt that I was not angry. That I had forgiven those who had broken the magic mirror.
I felt I had to call them immediately. But something told me to be patient. It was as if he wanted to make sure I had a true, pure and lasting feeling, not just the exhilaration of Route 66. Like pulsing through a maze, you reach the center.
But I felt it the next day. In fact, more and more strongly. And the feeling lasted until the end.
When we got back home, the first thing I did was to run into a florist – I remember it might have been on Oktogon – and if there was champagne available, I quickly grabbed some, no matter the price.
My soul was so swollen with the wind of forgiveness that I didn’t care that it cost twice as much to go to a place like this. Let’s just keep moving towards the noble goal!
Today I know what profound shock is. It was on their faces. You never see that in the theatre. They sat me down. Just like the immigration officials when they made me look like an international criminal at JFK airport in New York. I wouldn’t have had a chance to escape.
But I didn’t want to.
When I blurted out what I wanted, I tore off their chains. Their grievances just poured out on me. It was like a Cold War interrogation. The only thing missing from my face was the sulphur fumes and the spotlight, although I could probably feel the effects of both at times…
If my forgiveness wasn’t real, I would certainly cross them off the table. But that’s not what happened. There was peace in my soul. Each lash of the whip brought out love and understanding in me. I truly forgave. They didn’t. But this is their reality now…
Since then, hatred can no longer enter my heart. There are no more walls for it to besiege. So there is no challenge for it. Sometimes the hoofed one rages, doing his best to provoke the feeling, but I don’t pick up the rope. There’s nothing to pull.
There is peace and love.
Keep walking my dear friends, as my friend Peter Halász says.
…and you don’t have to travel to America to do it. Just enter the labyrinth! Mostly the labyrinth of reconciliation.
